I have lost 412 pounds in my life, collectively. I mean, not all at once…come on here, give a girl a chance. But, if you put together all the “Weight Watchers” counting, no super size – thank you, “just say no” to carbs kind of mentality, I could really total up some poundage! I was not always so concerned about these curves. I mean for the first few weeks or so that I arrived into the world, I was a cool 7-10 pounds and totally average. Yes! Medium! Average! #Excitement
Actually, I did not understand at all why I was on the planet when I was a baby. I could not tell night from day and cried like my favorite shoe sale had just ended. All night long I would do this. My parents sought out reinforcements, they checked their buyer’s agreement and called the hospital to see if there was a recall on babies born that day in late October. Turns out I had not yet figured out this silly thing of living. Born with a head full of jet-black hair my blonde-ness came in like a group of 3-year olds at a Chucky Cheese birthday party – wild, loud and totally uncontrolled. I had black tips and blonde roots, my first real taste of rebellion, it seems. I still wake up most mornings looking like I took a 3:00am roller-coaster ride, but hey – sometimes my hair is the most reasonable thing about me.
I mean, I never really know what kind of day its going to be, or what the world may perplex me with. For now I’m just excited that I can slip into my new medium shirt, heat-style some life into these golden locks and embrace the day with full force. A girl on the loose.
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